The ABC's of Flirting

By Michael Myerscough

Body language is about communicating interest

The number one mistake that men and women continually make in the area of dating is that they fail to communicate their interest in members of the opposite sex. It sometimes appears that the more my clients fancy someone the less likely they are to let them know. This leads to a situation where no one has any real idea what’s going on. So I want to teach you a couple of things that are going to make your life much more exciting and maybe even a little erotic.

Option 1!

According to Leil Lowndes, when a female baboon comes into heat she strolls over to a male she likes, bends over pressing her butt into his face, then grabs him by the hand and marches him off into the jungle to procreate. Now, not for one moment would I suggest you use this particular technique but you might want to keep it in mind. ;-) There are some subtler, yet very clear, signals that you need to learn and remember that will allow you to let someone know you’re interested.

Women initiate flirting

Women, you need to know that at least 2/3rds of all romantic encounters are initiated by you. The man may like to think of himself as a hunter but the truth is that he’s fairly cautious (downright terrified in most cases!) about getting rejected by a woman he likes. 

At times flirting can seem like a stupid game not worth bothering about but please pay attention, I’ve had women go from zero offers of dates in over 3 months to two in one day. If you want a guy’s interest there are a couple of basic ways of getting the attention you deserve. 

The first is to smile broadly across the room at him. You might even have to do it two or three times but he will eventually approach you if he’s interested.

Another great way to communicate interest is to look him in the eyes and run your fingers through your hair. It’s called auto erotic touching and it works really, really well.

Men respond to flirting

Men, so now you know you are really there to respond to a woman’s initial signals (unless you are really skilled in the area of approaching women). If she’s interested she’s going to look at you. There’s little point approaching a woman unless she’s flirted with you unless you just can’t get enough rejection in your life.

So when you walk into a room take your time and pay attention. People will generally check out a newcomer. If there’s someone you like or are attracted to then keep looking, subtle now, don’t stare. If she looks back in under a minute then she’s interested and at some point soon you should introduce yourself to her before you manage to convince yourself she wasn’t actually looking at you.

How do you know if a guy is interested in you?

It’s really very simple, if he’s come over to talk to you I recommend you assume he’s interested. As far as he’s concerned he’s just traversed the fires of hell by approaching you so let’s hope he thinks you’re worth it.

There are also a few classic signals he could be giving off. Where are his hands? If he’s shifted into what’s referred to as ‘Cow Poke’ stance, hands on hips, fingers pointing to his groin then you know he’s trying to get your attention. It really is that blatant if you just start paying attention.

How to use your body language

If you know what you are looking for people’s bodies give away their secrets all the time. It’s not rocket science, it’s not Jedi mind tricks, it’s just knowing what to look for. Not only that, once you know what you’re looking for you can ramp up your own ability to put out the signals that speak directly to someone’s subconscious and get them gravitating in your direction.

A few more tips

• Guy’s if you’re talking to a woman and she starts running her fingers through her hair, or stroking her arms or thighs you can assume she’s interested. The message her body is giving out is this. 1. She’d like you to notice what she’s touching 2. She may well be inviting you to touch her there sometime in the future.

• Pay attention to what people are pointing to as they talk to you, where do their feet point, where are their fingers pointing? If they were naked what would their body be saying to you? A lot of seduction and attraction is deeply subconscious, if you can get just a little more conscious about it you’ll have people approaching you and they won’t even know how you did it.

• If he or she touches you in any way then you can assume interest. A great trick is to stop the conversation, touch their arm and say ‘I’m sorry, but in the excitement of meeting you I managed to miss your name.’ Two things happen here, one you’ve communicated excitement and secondly you’ve touched them which moves your relationship forward a notch.

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